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Copyright © 2003-2004 Phil Elmore, all rights
reserved.
The Zombie Survival Guide
A Book Review by Phil Elmore
Given
that the Halloween season is here, I thought it only appropriate to review the
only source of definitive zombie survivalism guidelines of which I am aware:
Max Brooks’
The Zombie Survival Guide, published recently by Three Rivers Press.
As those of us who have faced the living dead know all too
well, the zombie menace is a recurring one in the United States and elsewhere.
Zombie attacks have been dramatized in such classic films as Night of the
Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, and Day of the Dead.
More recently the body of knowledge concerning these ghouls has been distorted
in contemporary fiction and video games like the Resident Evil series.
What you must remember as you go about your business this Samhain is
that there are times when the dead walk again with the sole purpose of
consuming the living and for no reason science has yet managed to explain.
What, then, is a zombie? Brooks’ invaluable text
dispels some of the common myths (including differentiating between Voodoo
zombies and true zombies) and explains that a zombie is a deceased human host
infected with the virus Solanum. The virus destroys the frontal
lobe of the brain and replicates itself through some unknown means, “rewiring”
the brain and commandeering the body (awkwardly) for its own purposes.
The reanimated creature has no real brain activity and no real memory of its
former life (though some debate exists regarding residual instincts).
Brooks explains that zombies are slow and physically
awkward, but have excellent hearing and the same visual acuity as their human
hosts. They lack physical sensations, however, and are thus totally
immune to pain. While driven to eat the flesh of the living, they do not
digest this flesh in any way. We do not know, Brooks laments, why they
eat when they do not require nourishment.
Will you be prepared when the dead rise?
The Martialist hopes so.
Solanum is 100% communicable, 100% fatal, and bloodborne.
The most common means of infection is a zombie bite. The only way to
destroy a zombie is to destroy its brain.
Brooks’ text spends considerable time explaining the
behavior, physical abilities, and theorized motivations of zombies. He
classifies zombie outbreaks according to scale and accompanying
characteristics and provides guidelines for identifying zombie outbreaks in
your vicinity (by interpreting contemporary news reports, which generally
won’t tell you the whole truth of the matter).
There is considerable information on weapons in the book,
ostensibly so the reader will know how to arm himself or herself in order to
defend against zombie hordes. Regrettably, much of this information is
inaccurate. I suspect Brooks is a field researcher and lacks real
experience using weaponry to combat the zombie menace. As such, his
discussion of the merits of various firearms and other tools should be
discounted (or at least taken with a grain of salt).
Brooks does correctly warn against the use of wall-hanger
display weapons such as various swords and other items on the market. He
encourages the reader to train constantly, recommends the crowbar as the best
all-around zombie bludgeon and utility tool, and even seems to prefer the
Monk’s Spade as a means of decapitating zombies while keeping them at a
distance. He incorrectly characterizes shuriken (throwing stars) as
devices “used in Feudal Japan to pierce a human skull.”
Brooks has also embraced the popular misconceptions of the
M16 and AK47 as the worst and best assault rifles developed (respectively)
without qualifying his statements in recognition of contemporary developments.
He apparently believes a silencer makes a firearm as quiet as a bow or sling,
too. Still, there is much of worth contained in the section, including
the use of fire and other chemicals to destroy zombies. The use of armor
of various kinds is discussed, as is the need to keep clothing tight and hair
close-cropped.
An extensive section on preparing and defending your home or
other locales in the event of significant zombie outbreak includes
descriptions of danger zones, means of fortifying your location, and general
strategies for defense. This is followed by a chapter on running from
the zombie threat, with tips for moving from area to area and a complete guide
to vehicles and their suitability. Brooks recommends the motorcycle as
the best conveyance for fleeing an infected area, specifically citing the dirt
bike’s maneuverability and cross-country capability. Terrain types and
alternate modes of transportation are also covered.
There is a chapter on preparations, strategies, and tactics
for going on the offensive to eliminate the zombie menace, which includes
specific killing methods for eradicating the undead. If this doesn’t
work, the chapter on Living in an Undead World explains how to cope
with and survive in a society completely overrun by ghouls. It would
seem, at least to Brooks, that it is not a question of if, but when
the living dead triumph. The text concludes with a list of known zombie
attacks through recorded history.
Too many have died and then returned to kill and feed
believing that the zombie menace was a distant or impossible threat, something
for which they did not need to prepare. You do not have to learn this
lesson the hard way. We live in a world in which the resources are at
our fingertips and the knowledge to defend ourselves is readily available.
The Zombie Survival Guide is your
best weapon for surviving any day or night of the living dead.