The Martialist: The Magazine For Those Who Fight Unfairly

Road Rage n. violent behavior exhibited by drivers in traffic, often as a
manifestation of stress.

The first near miss I encountered with a rage situation happened while I was
still in college. I was heading south on the main outlet from downtown towards
the University. Wanting to turn left, I was attempting to merge into the turn-only lane
– but a fellow driving a four-wheel drive Toyota truck was in the way. I increased my speed a little past the 35 mile per hour limit in an attempt
to get in front of Mr. Toyota. He matched my speed, so I increased mine again only
to be matched.

Now, given years of training in conflict management, martial arts, and
learning from fellow contributors to The Martialist, the smart and safe thing
would have been to slow down and get behind Mr. Toyota. However, at that time
I was in my early twenties and up to a challenge, so I stomped on it and cut
in front of him. Of course, I had to immediately slam on the brakes to stop at
the light.

There was no doubt that Mr. Toyota was pissed. I know I would have been as
well. What was unexpected was that he started to tailgate me once we both made
the turn at the light. I sped up, slowed down, turned here, turned there, and
Mr. Toyota stayed glued to my bumper. Being an amateur survivalist at the
time (as well as a recently discharged infantry soldier), I was already intimately
familiar with the terrain through which I traveled. I cut down two back
alleys and led Mr. Toyota right to the local Cop Shop (i.e. the University Station
of the County Sheriff’s Department). We were stopped at the light right in
front of the Cop Shop when Mr. Toyota got out of his truck raised his hands in
a conciliatory manner and approached my truck. I rolled down the window a
little and he apologized for dogging me. I apologized to him as well, shook
his hand, and we went on our merry ways.

A few years later I put myself right back into the same situation. Wanting to
turn, I had to race around a guy and slam on my brakes. The funny thing was, both of
us were pissed and called each other exactly the same dirty word. However, that was
where the humor ended. This guy, Mr. Ford F-250, did the same thing and stayed
glued to my bumper as I ducked and dodged, turned into a parking lot and back
out. I gave him a few minutes to cool off, then finally decided I’d had enough
and pulled into a gas station to call his bluff (and, of course, to get some
gas).

Instead of pulling into the same station, he turned off in the other
direction. At first I thought he was calling it quits, but then I noticed him
sneaking around through the gas station parking lot across the street. I’m not
sure what he was thinking, but you cannot sneak up on someone in a full-sized
truck with a 390 V8. Apparently he was sizing me up as I stood there pumping
gas and decided his time and effort were better spent elsewhere. He promptly
drove away, never to be seen by me again.

Just last week I was sitting in a meeting at work and our local tri-athlete,
Trackman, was relating stories about his training schedule. The subject of
traffic and bicycles came up. He recounted a story in which some guy almost
ran him off the road. He promptly chased the guy down on his bicycle and
confronted said surprised gentleman at a stoplight, dressing him down for being
such a rude driver.

Trackman then related a second story in which an acquaintance of his actually
chased some teenagers down in a car and dragged the driver out of the car
window in a moment of rage. I laughed out loud during the tale. Trackman took
offense at my insolent
reaction and asked me if I thought it was funny. I replied that not only did I
think it was hilarious, I thought it a highly inadvisable action for someone in
traffic – especially someone on a bicycle.

Realizing that I am a person with a quick temper, I situate myself accordingly.
When things go wrong for me due to other people’s direct action or apparent
inattentiveness, I tend to get irritated. However, as quick as my fuse may be,
my anger also passes very quickly. I have yet to encounter a situation in
which
I am not in control of my faculties under stress. This is not to say that I’m
anyone
special – just to say that I keep myself under tight control most of the time.
However, I have learned from my mistakes in the past and, fortunately, I have
lived long enough to relate the lessons I’ve learned from these incidents.

Always err on the side of caution. Acting in a manner that provokes other
people is rarely a good idea. Name-calling and various gestures are not only
against the law, but highly inadvisable in stressful situations.

Maintain your composure. A lesson from Fight Club: Let that which does not
matter truly slide. It’s uncommon to provoke someone else when you are cool
like Fonzie.

Don’t play games with people in two-thousand-pound road rockets. This one really
should speak for itself.

Be prepared. Just like the Boy Scout motto, if you are prepared for events you
have better options in times of crisis. For example, what my compatriots
failed to consider, and for which we are all lucky they did not discover, is
that in both cases I was well armed. I was, possibly,  better armed than my opposition.
In the first story I was in possession of a pistol and had a friend in the
vehicle with me. In the second story I was again armed with a pistol and had two softball
bats in the front seat. Nowadays, thanks to my instructor, training partners,
and online amigos, I am very well “prepared” for dealing with violent
situations if they occur.

Remember AAE. This is Avoidance, Awareness, and Escape. If you’re good at the first
two you rarely have to deal with the last. In these instances I pissed on my
awareness (as anyone can be armed and/or dangerous out there) and spit on
avoidance. That left me with fight or flight and that’s definitely the hard
way to do things.

Don’t play their games. Make them play yours. It’s always best to avoid the
game altogether, but if you cannot or choose not to avoid these situations, make
sure you don’t play the other guy’s game. That’s what he does best and that’s
why he tried to provoke you on his terms.

In Kantan we have the theory of
Unfair Advantage. People generally will not mess with you unless they are
convinced they have the upper hand – whether that is authority, weaponry,
training, friends, or whatever. I’ve never had a guy come start stuff with me
when he was convinced he was in for an ass-whooping. People who did start things always,
always
figured they had that ace in the hole. What’s fun is to see the expression on
someone’s face change when that person realizes he or she is not the only one who knows
how to stack a deck.

Never Overextend. This is another Kantan theory that relates to not playing
their games and maintaining your composure. Threats, posturing, and pissing
contests of all manner generally lead into that game – a term coined by Marc “Animal” McYoung
–called Escalato. If your mouth never writes checks your ass can’t
cash, you will generally live a longer and happier life. As soon as Mr. Toyota
stepped out of his vehicle he could have shot his wad and overextended
himself. Had he been seeking violence he would have found it quick, fast, and
in a hurry. Again, fortunately for all of us, this was not the case.

Hopefully my stories were entertaining and educational. There are enough
troubles in the world without us having to go looking for them. Statistically,
more people die in automobile incidents than from any other factor in the US.