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“Stay ‘unreasonable.’ If you
don’t like the solutions [available to you], come up with your
own.”
Dan Webre
The Martialist does not
constitute legal advice. It is for ENTERTAINMENT
PURPOSES ONLY.
Copyright © 2003-2004 Phil Elmore, all rights
reserved.
Identifying Common Beggar Ploys
By Phil Elmore
If you operate or travel in any urban or suburban area, you
will encounter street beggars. Street beggars are a security
threat because, more often than not, the average panhandler has mental
problems, chemical abuse issues, or both. This makes the average
panhandler erratic, unpredictable, and potentially violent. Combine this
with the nature of the interaction the street beggar is demanding to benefit
from what you have earned, no matter how politely or elaborately he phrases
the request and every panhandling encounter is a potential “street
interview,” a precursor to assault.
I write often on this issue because street beggars are
easily the security threat with which I deal most often. (Barely a week
goes by in which I do not have a new panhandler story to add to my collection.
This is the result of regular trips downtown and nothing more provocative than
that.) While many beggars are honest enough simply to bark at you for
your money without pretext, many others use a variety of ploys designed to
gain your sympathy or allay your suspicions.
Common beggar ploys have one thing in common: they are
all, pardon my language, bullshit. The following indicators are by no
means an inclusive list, but they serve as a great thumbnail guide to some of
the more common street lies. All are ploys with which I’ve been
confronted personally. Granted, there are people out there whose hard
luck stories are actually true, but they’re much fewer and farther between
than many people think.
Too Much Information
This is the big one, the ploy indicator most frequently
encountered. Liars and beggars almost always fail to keep things simple.
They launch into incredibly involved stories on the theory that the more
detail they include, the more plausible the ruse will seem. This is not
the case. A good liar keeps things simple because this leaves
fewer traps to remember and avoid.
A young man wearing gold chains over a muscle shirt once gave
me an elaborate song and dance about needing money to make a phone call
because he needed a ride to some outpatient cancer treatment center, an
appointment he’d missed previously due to a number of factors (which he
supplied). The whole pile of nonsense was obviously an excuse to
separate me from my money.
Gas Money
Apparently we are in the grip of a nationwide epidemic of
stranded motorists, all of whom just need two or maybe five dollars worth of
gas to get them on their ways again. The only cure for this epidemic is
the kindness of strangers, it would seem, for this army of stranded motorists
is even now wandering the streets, asking passers-by for help. Almost
every time you encounter this request, it’s bogus.
Lunch Money
I recall a study some time back it might have been in USA
Today or some other major media outlet that speared a popular myth.
Most of the “homeless” carrying signs saying “will work for food” actually
wouldn’t when offered the chance.
Take a good look at the next beggar who asks for money because,
he tells you, he’s hungry. He doesn’t look like he’s starving, does he?
He looks dirty and unkempt, sure, but emaciated? People who are really
starving look the part.
A beggar once accosted me citing a specific sum of money and
muttering about the specific breakfast he hoped to purchase at the exact
establishment he sought to patronize. Ploys are like that they
sometimes come wrapped in each other. This was “Too Much Information”
within “Lunch Money.”
Speak Up
I was waiting outside an urban coffee shop plagued by
aggressive panhandlers (who, when they aren’t begging, sexually harass and
intimidate the female college students who frequent the shop) when I last
encountered this ploy. A disheveled white male of perhaps middle age
wandered up, muttering something I could not hear. I glared at him and
he gave me a wide berth as he continued to work the area, accosting everyone
entering the shop. Everyone who did not ignore him stopped and said
something like, “What?” or “Pardon?” because he muttered so quietly.
This is a deliberate, calculated decision on such a beggar’s part.
Mumbling panhandlers hope to catch you off guard, counting on the cultural
reflex that prompts you to ask for clarification when you do not hear what
someone says. I’ve fallen for this myself without thinking.
The appropriate response to anyone who accosts you and mumbles
is no response at all, though you may choose to observe silently to see if the
speaker repeats his or her plea.
Help a Vet
Most of the homeless “veterans” one encounters are veterans of
long begging careers and nothing more. Those holding signs proclaiming
their veteran status are hoping to cash in on your gratitude to those who
fight and die for our country. Some will go so far as to dress
themselves in soldier costumes, wearing fatigues or boonie hats as if they’ve
just gotten off the first boat from Over There to find themselves destitute
among spitting hippie ingrates.
The majority of “veteran” beggars are liars who have never
served in the U.S. military. Your heart is in the right place, but don’t
fall for this one.
The Grace of God
Ours is basically a religious society. Many people
will try to invoke religion as a means of gaining trust or allaying fear.
Some subtle con artists will wear crosses (which are large enough to be
obvious to those whom they accost). Others will work references to God
or church into their ploys.
One early morning, while walking from my car to my office, a
couple in a battered and fanbelt-sqealing Cadillac stopped and gave me an
elaborate song and dance about losing or running out of money. They were
supposedly desperate to get gas money to get home but, shrewdly, did not
directly ask me for funds. Instead they wanted to know where the nearest
church could be found (their ostensible purpose for stopping me).
The implication was, of course, that they were good
Christians who only sought the support of their network of fellow believers.
One supposes that, lulled by their evident religious credentials, I as the
mark would be inclined simply to give them money to help them on their way.
I didn’t fall for it and neither should you. God
doesn’t care if you’ve got gas in your car. That’s your responsibility.
Anyone invoking God while implying a need for cash is simply using religion to
mask a ploy.
What to Do When Accosted
If you are accosted by a street person, particularly one
whose pitch involves any of these ploys, do not engage that person. No
dialogue will improve the situation. A null response gives the beggar
nothing with which to work in attempting to involve himself in your life.
If the beggar begins to encroach on you personal safety
zone, warn him or her off. A firm, neutral “Step away from the car” or
“Do not approach me” should suffice. If the beggar does not listen and
tries to engage you, maintain space
as needed. If the encounter becomes an assault, do what you must.
Remember that most people who approach you in public asking
for money are liars. You should not trust them and you do not owe them a
blessed thing.
No one has the right to demand your money, no matter with what ploy the demand
is disguised.