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“Stay ‘unreasonable.’ If you
don’t like the solutions [available to you], come up with your
own.”
Dan Webre
The Martialist does not
constitute legal advice. It is for ENTERTAINMENT
PURPOSES ONLY.
Copyright © Phil Elmore,
all rights
reserved.
The United States of Dependence
By Bob Humelbaugh
While watching a recent piece on CNN, the national
propaganda machine, the gnashing of teeth and rending of garments
reached a fever pitch over a pair of tweakers. Apparently this
brilliant duo consumed some methaphetamines, drove off into the
freezing Nebraska winter without coats, and proceeded to wander in the
woods, unaware of their location.
This is probably not something a normal person would do,
being of sound mind, but this pair had consumed their recreational
drugs earlier, impairing the normal thought process. After a few hours
they called 911 from a cell phone, asking for help, but not knowing
where they were. The calls grew more and more frantic until the battery
died, leaving them to freeze to death in a proverbial “To Build a
Fire” story with a similar yet dual ending. A tragedy to be sure,
useless and bumbling in the extreme, sad and pitiful in its truth,
predictably misreported.
The news story is filled with drama, the young couple
lost, cell phone calls growing frantic while precious battery life
drains away. Yet not mentioned in the brief of the story is the fact
that they were HIGH ON CRANK!
So the reader is left with a feeling of fear. Who will
find ME when I’m lost? Will I be alone, desperate to survive
without my electronic leash, my vehicle On Star Global Nanny, the array
of orbital geosynchronous baby sitters we have now?
How fast are we approaching an era of total dependence
on devices that summon aid as we become completely helpless? Perhaps
the dust-sniffing duo could have perhaps, I don’t know, STAYED IN
THE TRUCK?!?!?!?!? Or maybe put on a jacket, started a fire, slept in a
thing called a building (those tend to keep the snow off of you) or
simply NOT DONE A LOAD OF METH?
But it’s not the fault of the hapless and innocent
youths, indulging in the new pastime of staying awake for days and
dissembling small electronic parts in a state of paranoia, it’s
the fault of the 911 system! If only they could have been found! Shame
on the authorities! I should protected from myself at all times!
I say the frantic last calls should be played for young
kids around the country as an example of your brain on drugs, followed
by pictures of the frozen duo. Now perhaps that might send a message
the average young sponge might absorb, between the multi PC no- fault
multiculturalism garbage being dished out in bucketfuls these days. The
results of meth on the human body should be shown publicly. Like the
AIDS virus, it’s a BEHAVIOR that causes death, not the item
itself. Don’t indulge in the practice, and you won’t die a
horrible death.
Get the picture?