No, Scary Mommy, It is NOT Harder To Buy Household Products Than Guns

In the wake of a mass shooting, the most dangerous place to be is invariably between any television camera and a Democrat. Progressives, predictably, trample the bodies of the dead in their mad dash to blame everyone who didn’t do it for the acts of deranged human beings — human beings, invariably, whose proclivities were known and about whom nothing was done. Pointless arguments aside — I refuse to believe you are safer when you are unarmed and helpless, whereas progressives believe this ardently — I saw an article on the mommy-blogger site Scary Mommy recently that was so absurd I had to comment on it.

The premise of professional idiot Wendy Wisner‘s article is that it is easy to buy a gun. It’s too easy to buy a gun, Scary Mommy wants us to believe. Why, it’s so easy to buy a gun that it’s harder to obtain most common household products.

Except that, no, it isn’t. It never has been. Every word of the article is thread in a shoddily crocheted potholder of lies.

The article, very distastefully, is written in a bizarre tone that is partly fantasy and partly political commentary. That, in and of itself, is offensive enough when dead Americans are involved. Nonetheless, the often ridiculous assertions of this heaping, steaming pile of disinformation deserve a closer look. When misinformation is peddled by soccer moms to promote firearms confiscation — the inevitable result of all gun control laws — the lives of honest citizens are in greater danger. Taking away the tools of self-defense is always wrong. When it is done by entitled, hysterical morons who have never held a firearm, much less a set of car keys through their fingers — and who, let’s face it, probably think vaccines cause autism and that a paleo diet will cure their kid’s ADHD —  it becomes morally reprehensible.

Let’s examine each item in turn.

Sudafed. Yes, they keep the Sudafed locked up at the grocery store pharmacy. That’s because it’s a precursor chemical for manufacturing meth. However, the last time I bought Sudafed, all I had to do was sign a clipboard and get the drugs from behind the counter. If it was that easy to buy a handgun I’d be buying them every payday.

Lawn Darts. As of this writing, there are 186 returns for lawn darts on eBay. I could buy a set of lawn darts this very moment and have them mailed to me. If I do that with a firearm — even if I could find someone willing to do it — I’d be a felon. Also, eBay bans the sale of firearms on its website. You can’t do it on Gunbroker, the “eBay for firearms,” either. To buy a gun from that online auction site, you have to ship to a federal dealer and pass all the necessary federal and state background check/permit requirements. Last I checked, this was not a requirement for lawn darts, even if they are “banned.”

Health Insurance. Pardon my French, but horseshit. Any idiot with money can buy health insurance and, until Trump started messing with Obamacare, was in fact required to do so. Get back to me when the IRS asks on your annual 1040 if you bought your required handgun from a licensed purveyor.

A “Drivable Car.” Depending on the state you live in, the licensing requirements for purchasing a handgun (if not a rifle) are more strict than for a driver’s license. Last I knew, anyone with a driver’s license could legally drive a car even if they’d been convicted of a felony or of a misdemeanor for domestic violence. The same is not true for a firearm — ANY firearm.

Fireworks. If I drive to Pennsylvania and bring fireworks back to New York, I might get a slap on a wrist if I actually bounce a firecracker off the hood of a cop car. If I buy a handgun in Pennsylvania and bring it back across the border with my fireworks, I’m a felon.

Birth Control Pills. Unless I can get the cost of my gun subsidized by my insurance company after my doctor writes me a prescription for one, this is just stupid.

“My Kid’s Asthma Medications.” Unless I can get the cost of my gun subsidized by my insurance company after my doctor writes me a prescription for… Oh, wait, it’s like that’s the exact same thing.

A Kitten. The last time I drove by a farmhouse and asked them if they had any free guns lying around, they looked at me like I was insane. Try that with cats and the property owners will be throwing live cats at you while you try to flee.

A Good Babysitter. I had a series of babysitters growing up. Not one of them was licensed.

An Abortion. I’m sorry, I missed the memo in which the government stipulated that you may walk into a Gun Clinic and get an on-demand firearm while demanding that the public at large pay for it as part of your biologically given rights.

Roquefort Cheese. Certain cheeses are illegal in the United States and can’t be imported. You know what else is illegal in the United States? Entire classes of firearms and knives, as stipulated by executive fiat when various presidents (including, notably, Bill Clinton) banned their importation by the stroke of a pen. But please, tell me again how you can’t get the nasty cheese you want at Trader Joe’s.

Timely Cable Installation. Cable installers, amirite? What’s the deal with getting cable? Bad Seinfeld impressions aside, if I could schedule the delivery of a shotgun or handgun between 8 a.m. and 3p.m. next Tuesday and had to take a day off from work to do it, you can be damned sure I would.

Hamilton Tickets. This item, like so many in the list, is evidence of both Wendy Wisner’s sense of entitlement and her tenuous connection to reality. Nobody can buy certain firearms that are in high demand and eagerly anticipated either, Wendy, although I wouldn’t expect you to know what it was like to try and get a Seecamp .32 when they were all the rage. It’s still the case that any idiot with money can go on a number of ticket-broker websites and purchase tickets to a play. You can even buy remaindered Broadway tickets at discount prices when the show isn’t completely sold out, or you could when I was last in Manhattan. Try buy a leftover gun from a booth in Times Square sometime.

“Beer on My Sunday Morning Grocery Trip.” Wait, correct me if I misinterpret you, Wendy: Are you saying that it’s wrong for the government to legislate when and how you can buy a popular consumer product like beer? If only there were a parallel I could draw to, say, gun stores. While I don’t know if there are states that tell you what days of the week a gun store can be open, I think most gun shops would gladly trade that restriction for the complex and often onerous regulations with which they already comply.

I’m not normally one of those people who says that you should “stay in your lane” when it comes to commenting outside your area of expertise. You don’t have to be an expert in firearms to have an opinion about them. It helps, however, to have some grounding in reality — something that Wendy Wisner lacks utterly.

People who know nothing about firearms, who have never owned firearms, and who understand about firearms only what they have seen on Law and Order (and other propagandist popular entertainment) are at a distinct disadvantage in the war of ideas. They cannot formulate persuasive arguments about gun control with anyone who understands the topic. They can only make fools of themselves while they insist on bleating their opinions into the ether. I don’t begrudge them their emotional reactions, but I resent like hell the presumptive arrogance with which they publicize their jerking knees.

One thought on “No, Scary Mommy, It is NOT Harder To Buy Household Products Than Guns

  1. It seems like anyone who is afraid of anything, let alone death, is doomed to a life servitude. Destroy the ego and denounce all of creation, as it is false and imperfect. Good luck scared Humans. 🙏🏻

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