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Copyright © 2003-2004 Phil Elmore, all rights
reserved.
Offramp Follies and Other Tales of
the Obvious
By Phil Elmore
There are some common confrontations with which
you should be familiar when you are out and about. These are a few of
the simple pieces of advice I offer to anyone relatively ignorant of
self-defense and awareness, when the topic comes up in conversation.
Often these are things people simply don’t consider. If you’re a regular
reader of The Martialist, these things shouldn’t be news to
you. They’re worthwhile as reminders, though.
OFFRAMP
BEGGARS
Anyone who drives in urban
and suburban areas will, sooner or later, be confronted by one of the more
obnoxious manifestations of panhandling — offramp beggars. I say
“obnoxious” because I find it particularly galling that someone
would both ask for money and ask in such a way that those inclined to
give must put themselves at great physical risk to do so.
Offramp beggars pose a serious risk to those inclined to
charity.
You are never in more danger
than when seated and belted in your automobile, stopped, with your window down
and another human being standing nearby. You have very little mobility
and even less leverage sitting in your car.
In
Texas, an uproar occurred when a holder of one of the state’s then-new CCW
permits shot and killed another person in a “traffic dispute.”
What didn’t always make the left-leaning news reports of this example of
“gun violence” was the fact that the shooter fired in
self-defense. He was sitting in his car when a road-raging fellow
traveler reached into his open and window and started striking him repeatedly.
Being
struck in the head again and again can result in serious injury, permanent
blindness, and even death. The armed citizen knew this and reacted
accordingly. Given his relatively helpless nature sitting in the car,
his gun was really the only option available to him. This emphasizes
just how big a disadvantage you face when sitting while attacked by a standing
assailant, especially if your strapped in and going nowhere.
That open car window is a liability when you’re stopped.
Now,
consider an offramp. If you’re trapped at the light at the bottom of the
ramp, the beggar has a captive audience. He can approach your vehicle
and there’s little you can do about it except refuse to roll down your
window. Most of the time, this is sufficient to protect you — but
remember, few car windows are brick-proof.
If
you think you’re going to drive away when a threat appears, forget it —
unless you’re keen on trading a mugging for a car accident. You’re
stopped at that light for a reason. If there aren’t cars both in front
of and behind you, chances are you’ll have to pull into oncoming traffic to
drive against the light.
To give that
offramp beggar money, you must essentially offer him your throat in complete
trust. Reaching through your own car window to hand him a dollar, you
are totally vulnerable.
Never
give money to panhandlers, especially if you’re in your car. It is not
worth the risk. You may successfully give money to scores of street
people before encountering one who’s inclined to do more than quietly take
what you volunteer — but why subject yourself to unnecessary danger?
You have family and friends who count on you. Your continued health and
well-being is more important than that of someone rude enough to corner people
in their cars.
This panhandler was not pleased to see my camera.
The
same is true when you are approached outside of your car. Again, never
give money to panhandlers. For one thing, at least one of your hands is
occupied when you hand something over to someone else. For another, you
are telling the panhandler that you have money when you give him some
of it. Oh, and please, for the love of all that is holy, do not
take out your wallet and start selecting a suitable donation from your
available funds. You might as well wear a sign around your neck that
says, “Rob me.”
The assumption, when dealing
with street people, is that the majority of them have mental problems,
chemical dependencies, or other issues that make them a potential danger to
you. Even if you successfully and peacefully give money to scores of
them, sooner or later you will meet one who wants more than you are willing to
give.
Many of the hard-luck stories beggars
tell you are con games and nothing more. How can you tell? Most of
them commit the classic error of offering too much information.
The more elaborate the song and dance, the more complicated the backstory
justifying the begging, the greater the probability that the whole thing is
bogus.
GOT THE TIME?
If
you’re obviously wearing a watch, you have two choices when asked for the
time. You can be rude and refuse to give it, or you can comply with the
request. The problem is that when approached on the street by a
stranger, there is a chance — not a great one, but a real one
nonetheless — that someone who asks you for the time is trying to distract
you in order to assault you. Think about it: when you look at your
watch, you typically look down at your arm, making you an easy target.
If
someone you don’t know comes up to you and asks you for the time, you can
easily minimize your risk. Step back casually, away from the
stranger, preferably blading your body as you do so. Raise your arm
rather than lowering your head, keeping that arm well away from your body and
between you and the other person. In this way you can read the time
while keeping your guard up.
Practice doing
this so it looks casual rather than confrontational. There’s no need to
drop into your Daniel-san crane stance and fire off a flurry of snap kicks
just to tell someone they’re late for an appointment.
GOT
A LIGHT?
The answer to this question is no,
you don’t have a light. You do not, in fact, smoke, even if you do, if
someone you don’t know wanders up to you on the street and asks you this
question. (Now, if you’ve got a cigarette dangling from your mouth it’s
going to be harder to deny that you smoke. This scenario assumes that a
stranger has approached you and you have given no public indication that you
have a source of flame on your person.)
There’s simply
no way to light another person’s cigarette for them on the street without
incurring an unacceptable level of risk, unless you’re willing to toss someone
a lighter or a book of matches. (For you smokers, that’s one
option. Pick up a handful of those free books of matches people still
give away here and there, or buy a box at the store. Carry a couple in
your pocket in addition to your lighter. When someone asks you for a
light, you can toss them a book of matches (from a safe, casual distance) and
even look generous by adding, “Keep it.”
Picture
standing in front of someone, holding your lighter to that person’s
cigarette. At least one of your hands — possibly two, if you’re cupping
one palm against the wind — is occupied. You’re also giving that
stranger a burning cylinder of tobacco with which he can put your eye out, if
he’s so inclined. (That’s why cops will often tell you to put out your
cigarette when they speak with you.)
PARANOIA AND
PRUDENCE
These are just a few examples of
scenarios in which you must be extremely careful in today’s world. Being
mindful of these risks isn’t paranoid. It’s prudent. It’s
sad that we must be concerned about such things, but the reality of our world
is that you simply can’t trust people you do not know. Every one of
these scenarios has been used before to victimize someone by playing on the
individual’s basic decency, his or her desire to help others.
I
am not advocating that you envision marauding ninja crouching behind every
parking meter or draw down on every Girl Scout who wants to know how long it
will be before her bus arrives. You’ve got to keep things in
perspective.
That perspective, however, must include a
recognition of the real dangers that exist in contemporary society.